A painter in hell

Sometimes you just need to start the day with a funny. Hope you find this one along those lines...

A painter dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah sorry, you're in the wrong place."

So the painter reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the painter gets dissatisfied with the drabness and constant agitation the color red seems to give everyone. He starts making improvements. After a while, the fixes and new colors make the painter a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've moved away from the whole red color thing and it seems to have made people less tense. The walls no longer have gaping holes, and there's no telling what this painter is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got a painter? That's a mistake! He should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having a painter on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Pain reliever

I heard a funny and yes, cute comment the other day.

I was removing wallpaper from a wall in sections and had left the room to take a quick break. When I returned, I noticed there were a handful of stickers and band-aids along one part of the wall holding together some of the shredded pieces.

Puzzled. I asked the owner of the house to take a look. She was followed in by her three year old daughter. When I pointed out the "fix", the little girl proudly stated, "house hurts mommy, I made better."

Anyone else have any funny kid comment stories they'd like to share?